Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
