If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
