God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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