Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
