I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
