Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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