your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
