yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
