I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
