She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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