I'm lost and stupid without you.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
