How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
