I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
