the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
