I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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