i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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