Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Boobs speak an international language.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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