I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
