Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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