only if we run a train.
done.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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