Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
