you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
