If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
