Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
as a side note pls kill me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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