That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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