Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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