..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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