He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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