Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
