So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
