and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
