were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
