check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
