Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
