this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
