it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
