I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
