Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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