it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
