You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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