Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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