Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
