it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
