Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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