Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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