thus making me awesome and them whores
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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