I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
