My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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