I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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