He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she peed on how many people?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
