Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
