Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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