i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
