It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
